The calling

I have been a happy go lucky person by fate.

I had a childhood that was like a dream. School was fun. I was good at what they did there. Invariably I was every teacher’s pet. I still love and remember my teachers for the kind of high they gave me in life, that first push in confidence that has stayed with me all along. Being envied by every kid in class for the special attention I got was definitely a high, a complete ego-booster! Back at play, things were similar, a whole lot of fun.

I had the best parents ever. Even though it sounds clichéd, I cannot put it in any other way, because it is the truth. I cannot recollect a single episode of my parents being after my life to pick up my books and read. They never ever forced me or my sister to do that. But yes, they made it clear to us that the only goal we were chasing then, as students, was education. There were only two important activities in life, school and play. Coming from a Christian family there had to be the church and religion figured into our lives. I had Christian friends and cousins who would go to the church every Sunday, who would recite prayers by the dozen, in the morning, in the night, at every opportunity they chanced upon, but not me. My parents never told me a word about religion. They never taught me prayers to recite. They never introduced me to a concept called God that my friends would often discuss. Instead, they simply informed me about the rights and the wrongs. Today, I cannot thank them enough for having kept me away from rituals and religion, as a kid when I was most impressionable.

But, somewhere out of the blue, without any explanations whatsoever I started connecting to something within me. I started talking to myself. I started validating everything I did with myself. When, things would look messy I started surrendering to myself. I became a constant companion to myself. And the whole thing didn’t confuse me one bit. I do not recollect when the transition took place, but soon I started calling my constant companion God. I started striking deals with him. I would promise him goodness in return for things I thought were beyond my control. It became like a give and take relationship between us.

When I was in the fourth standard, my brilliant mind came out with a life-time deal with him. I promised him things that were beyond an innocent 8 year old in return for things that were again beyond the same innocent 8 year old. He accepted the deal. The pact was in place. Sounds unbelievable, but that day I found my calling. There have been phases in life when I have completely forgotten the pact, possibly violated it’s clauses. But He has forgiven and forgotten. Quite like me at that. Each time there was too much of a straying away; there was a miracle in my life. And I knew the signs. I returned.

I keep going.